emo.

since like hardly anyone views this pathetic blog i might as well emo here...

its completed... jus finished my first publication... just for you... i'm not sure if u actually bother viewing my blog... but feelings have been kinda rough for me these few days... thus explaining the consecutive 3 full-day score writing...

its already been coming to a month, and i still dont even know whether u know about it... its what drove me to rush through the song anyway... good thing i quit work so i can concentrate... honestly its partly cos of u... at least i finished the song 5 days ahead of due date...

i really dono whats up in your mind... maybe u know it? or nothing? my friend was right... you're so unpredictable that it scares me..

oh well they always say 'follow your heart' so i guess i'm following it... wondering if u are too

ok change topic.... stupid emo bastard


i'm getting really tired of band... not the music but the people i guess...
ok i can say my batch was far worse than this year's but i'm always questioning myself about the purpose of my over-commitment in this band. i always wonder why do i bother putting so much effort to teach a section where not all are willing to learn. ok not in a musical way but the thing is you buggers are supposed to be the closest and most bonded section in the whole band, given theoretically that combined time = bonding time since we're not sitting in front of the conductor.

God, u guys cant even arrange a full and proper outing for youselves! please la its only a pathetic 7-member section, and cmon everyone made it for a FULL BAND DINNER after SYF in 2005 and the band was 50-member strong la, unlike a puny number of 7.

i dont think its fair that i'm putting so much faith in u guys any more, when u guys arent even helping yourselves. you expect to be the best by august this year? dream on at this rate. honestly, the clarinets and trumpets are far better than us, and the euphos, trombones and even saxes may catch up. dudes, face it la! you dont know what it means and what it takes, do you?

i hate to say this but this section lacks maturity and responsibility. 4 seniors: 1 who refuses to bond with the section because of a stupid crush on a girl, 1 who doesnt give a damn about the other with the stupid crush, and 2 musically inclined but not too socially-inclined. Grow up!!!! cmon!!!

still aiming for "best section"?

sometimes i ask myself why do i bother travelling all the way down to this pathetic school just to help u guys and teach u guys stuff, when honestly i cant teach for nuts, transport is ex, i have songs to write, and i rather carry on with my life rather than help others who dont appear to want to help themselves. maybe its because of my guilt that i did help u during my year 2, or maybe i'm just too kind (right..), or maybe because i'm stupid or i dont have a life...

oh well i decided to give it another go for tmr's practice. not because i have pity on u or myself or its SYF year again this year... more like i arranged running to skool tml with yf and i'm supposed to find my own lunch and dinner tml and i have youth rally at PAC.

about alumni band? i cant be bothered with it anymore. why bother keeping in touch with ex members when there's so much admin problems? so much crap the music will also be crappy what.

i'm sorry alvin though u brought me up to be a better musician but i turned out to be such a pathetic state to this band. oh well its not your fault at all anyway.


ok change topic... still emo
i cant understand why some people think the word emo is damn fun to make fun of. i find it really insulting. i shall not name any names here... but anyway thanks ben toh for screwin my day around... well at least thanks for the card games.

so, aaron if you're reading this, this is actually how i feel emo about... well at least about half of it... even though i'm smiling like a loser in this pathetic band room all the time...

ok its gettin late... gonna run to skool tmr... and probably die in the process. think i lost my mind.

welcome to my emo world.

~pianist is weird~